ok, I talked to my mum and along with messages from the girls who I may be staying with….let’s put logic in this
i’m so scared. on the edge of tears; so so scared.
how will I cope when I live on my own? what will my housemates think of me? I can just see them watching me, ‘how can she eat so much?’, ‘she doesn’t need that’, ‘she’s so weird’.
i’m so scared that i’ll gain the ‘freshman 15’. i’m so scared i’ll lose the ‘freshman 15’. i’m scared my eating disorder will interfere with relationships. i’m so so scared that my housemates won’t realize that I eat this much because I have to. I have to keep on feeding myself, and stuffing myself, because if I don’t the darkness will come back.
god, please don’t let the darkness come back.